Bereavement counselor Courtney Dutcher will lead a special program on Dec. 14
To say the holidays can be stressful would be an understatement for many — between difficult relatives, purchasing the perfect gifts and trying to organize family events, some might just be asking for a long nap this season.
But no matter how our loved ones may test our patience, it’s hard to imagine celebrating without them. For individuals who experience loss, the holidays are stressful for an entirely different reason. The loneliness and depression that accompany grief is exacerbated by times that call for family bonding and togetherness, often leaving those dealing with a death at a loss for what to do with themselves.
Cinnaminson residents, as well as any member of the public grieving the death of someone they love, can find comfort this year at Cinnaminson Public Library’s “Coping with the Holidays” at 6 p.m. on Dec. 14. Led by bereavement counselor Courtney Dutcher of Samaritan Healthcare and Hospice, attendees can learn effective coping strategies for grief and connect with others experiencing a loss.
“It’s an informational session, but people are encouraged to anticipate and share as much as they want. It’s really an open dialogue,” Dutcher said of what her seminar will offer.
She plans to start by discussing the symptoms of grief, followed by a how-to on surviving the pain and emotions of loss while it seems like everyone else is celebrating. The holidays are a stressful time, she added, and often come with many expectations of what people think they “should” be feeling or doing during this time.
“An exciting breakthrough I have seen for people who are grieving during the holidays is when they feel empowered to give themselves permission to grieve, as well as engage in activities that bring them joy,” Dutcher said. “For example, understanding that it is OK to cry, and it is OK to laugh, or it is OK to change a tradition or do something that brings them happiness.”
At “Coping with the Holidays,” Dutcher said she will focus on communicating needs and wants for the holiday season to family and friends. With that goes choosing activities that a grieving person actually wants to do, rather than activities they feel obligated to do that may worsen their symptoms. Compromise, according to Dutcher, is a crucial part of communication.
“Everybody grieves differently. One family member may want to do one thing, and another person may want to do something different. It’s important to make sure everyone is having their needs met,” Dutcher said.
Other topics the seminar will delve into include self-care, which involves encouraging someone to do things that feel good, be it a bubble bath or simply avoiding stressors. Participants will have an opportunity to make a “holiday plan” to prepare themselves for any negative feelings or experiences, and learn ways to remember deceased loved ones and incorporate them into the holidays.
“It can be as simple as lighting a candle or sharing special memories,” Dutcher said.
To register for “Coping with the Holidays,” visit www.bcls.lib.nj.us/ or call the library at (856) 829–9340.
